Thursday, April 19, 2007

KOOL ADAH HAD A LOOK

The green grass waves as if on parade
Thick heavy droplets of rain saturate the ground
and my skin as I stand at the cusp of this bizarre new civilization.
This atmosphere doesn't seem to correspond with my own memories of school,
there is nothing even vaguely Mongoloid here.
It all seems so unnecessary to me,
all these building made of cement and metal
This is such a stark comparison to the mud huts of the Congo
Here the people are just as colorful
their clothing various shades of a cascading rainbow
but it seems to me their clothes lack personality
In the Congo, you can identify a person by the article they're wearing
Here in this strange place,
skirts, shirts, jeans, jackets and shoes abound
but I know it doesn't mean as much
when tomorrow they pick out a whole new set of clothes
to carelessly throw on.
I watch everyone scurry about,
ignoring the surroundings
the splendor...

2 comments:

Roses-aren't-all-Red said...

joy ur title is so kool! did u think of that?

M Maretzki said...

Joy,

I agree with the other comment. The title stood out immediately. Well done.

I'm not sure if you intended the piece to be a poem, and if so, whether you meant to make stanzas apparent, but the way the piece looks suggests there's something going on, but I'm not certain. I think if there are stanzas, you might think about putting a space between each or indenting the first line of each.

Your first line is quite Adah-like. And it describes the grass in the Quad quite well.

And Adah makes an interesting statement about the clothing that I'm sure the wearers would think say so much about themselves. Her point of view lets her see the African clothing's color, while the clothing here seems lifeless. Well done.

~Maretzki